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Lilla -> RE: Zašto deca ne slušaju roditelje? (22.5.2012 11:07:47)
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Evo draga, da malo olaksam, prevela sam u google prevodiocu na engleski posto je cini mi se bolji prevod nego na nas. Nije bas potpuno gramaticki ispravno, ali mislim da cete razumjeti [sm=smiley1.gif] Izvinite sto ja to ovako, poveliki je tekst da bih ga ja prevodila.
Suddenly, turning everyday life into a battleground. Your child has discovered his own will. How do you take through despite the age - that is so important in child development.
The spins in my head and stomach will contract. The boiling point is near. What actually happened: you should have been a parent who kept calm in all situations, even if the kid lay stretched out and screaming on the floor of the store. You'd be a parent who did not lose composure and gave in to the nagging. So why was it not? Well, because you became a parent of a very normal, small creature who put all their energy to test your limits. All in order to develop a reliable and independent human being.
As we grow up we are going through many phases of development where we mature and change as people. They are often periods of turbulence. Perhaps the most famous stage, we usually call "despite the age." It occurs sometime around two to three years old when the child begins to seek its own identity, to free themselves and be aware that it is a person with their own wills and skills. Simultaneously, the child's ability to interact with other people, it will find its place in the family and begin to understand the difference between "my and your". Although phase is necessary for the child to develop their identity and become a self-social individual.
The child goes from being totally dependent to becoming a more and more independent little person. From having been helped with most things, you start the parents at the same time to set higher standards for the child to understand and obey. It will be a shocking change for the little child who is becoming more and more aware of their own will, its strength and that it may be different from mom's or dad's. The child learns so quickly that to get where you want, so you have to negotiate and argue. The child becomes a master at testing limits, investigate and do the opposite. "No" and "be yourself" are key words for the child.
Defiant young children is much discussion in the forum on Familjeliv.se.
- Three year olds is the opposite in everything. If you suggest that you go out, so she wants to be inside. If it's bedtime, so she wants to be up there. A three year old can even say no to what she really wants, just to be contrary, explains Family Mother lövet2.
At its toughest, everyday life is full of conflict and the child's mood is like a roller-coaster, so it may be helpful to remember that although positive for the child because it leads to maturation - a new beginning , simply.
Mood swings are common in spite of phase, but fairly easy to reverse by diverting Two-year-none. Even the angriest little despite shutter can be as happy as any of seeing a cat in a bush or to decide if there will be sausage or meatballs for dinner. Three-year-may be more difficult to dissipate, but then there are other methods that work, for example, to joke or tease the child.
- The child may be a little dictator or tyrant, and then becomes a sidekick who got tacos, says Christina Earl, a nurse at the child health center in Stenungsund. She has extensive experience working with children and give tips to parents to deal with small defiance.
To avoid the nagging and hassle it is a good idea to let your child take part in deciding the simple things in everyday life, says Christina Jarl. It strengthens the confidence and the child feels involved and important. Two to three year olds, for example, to decide if they want a green or a blue shirt on it, choose to shower or bathe or determine the saga in the evening.
As a parent you have to be a little resourceful. The deal can be a fun game to find their way through aisles and shelves, and finally find the treasure, which is perhaps the sausage which the child chose to dinner. Inhandlingen becomes much more fun, child and parent are happy and it is often worth the extra time it takes. The screaming and crying in the store is a scenario that many parents dread.
- If the child has an outbreak at the store, so you go out. Then try it again when the child has calmed down. Is it not then, you get to try again and again until it works, says Christina Earl, pointing out time and again that it takes time to raise a child, something that is in short supply for most of us.
At best, so we have time to play and let the child be involved, while we maintain our calm and is able to set boundaries and resist the nagging. A calm parent dryers to choose their battles, which is important, and will not fall into that self-nagging and niggling and nit on the child, as so often happens when you are stressed. One should remember that children also have bad days, just like adults. If the child is not structured to go shopping together, so maybe we can postpone it for another time.
It's really important that parents are clear and dare to set limits, because children need rules and moderate resistance to develop, says Christina Jarl. Some children may even get the idea to test the limits by spitting on people. This is especially important that you are clear that it is unacceptable.
- It is not wrong to say to their child, says Kristina Earl says, adding that many parents, in their desire to be kind, are reluctant to set limits.
Family Mother Soil talks about how important it is to be clear:
- Did you say one thing, it's smart to always carry it, whether it takes five minutes or two hours. You need to prove what you say goes. You questioned, just like everything else. Change is driving the child to question. Things that you know you might not manage to be consistent with it is better to say yes at once. Each time the child nag or shout to one reinforced nagging and screaming behavior. It pays the way, she says.
Family Mother Svanå is on the same track, but think it's important to have a carrot now and then:
- Stand true to everything you say and promise. It's usually around this age they begin to understand that the world does not only revolve around them and they can not control, and set with everything. They are simply not "king" or "Queen" "over life anymore. It is difficult to accept, but even more difficult if they do not know exactly what reactions and rules they can count on. Rewards can be invaluable at times. Even with as an adult I can be happy for a small reward if I have done something good, says Svanå.
We parents are often unaware obscure to our kids. We ask a question when it should instead be a call. "Shall we go and brush your teeth now?" we can say. Which child would answer yes to that question, in the middle of the game or watching an exciting TV program?
- Try to break the trend to stop asking questions that have only one answer, there is Christina Jarl.
Boundaries and rules, yes, but the punishments and threats are not okay, according to Christina Jarl. Sending a two-year-old to his room to calm down is not a good method, she says, explaining that the child is too small to cope with their feelings alone. Then it is better to put the child on a chair next to them or do the parties of the room until the storm has blown over. Good to remember is to yell at her child does not lead to anything constructive. Shout only leads to even more screaming.
For many it is a strenuous and time consuming, but it's nice to know that the clearer you are with the limits, the faster it is usually in spite of the period to pass.
Do you feel like a bad parent? Then you're definitely not alone! Most people have probably ever felt like Family Member NovaLi:
- I have a girl just turned three and she has taken defiance to a whole different level than before. She fights and do break things - like mine - yelling, kicking, and is rarely satisfied. But since she has her moments goa. Then I cry inside because it feels like we are always angry with her and always has been an ongoing fight. But I guess that being a parent. It is the hardest job I've had in any case, says NovaLi.
If you feel that everything is hopeless and that the dryer is about to expire, you tell your nurse or child psychologist at the clinic and talk to other parents in similar situations. Then you can get tips and advice and it might be nice to hear that more people know who you are.
- If you feel exhausted and the relationship is taking a beating, so call the grandparents if they are nearby, says Kristina.
It is not wrong to ask for help.
- Determine, for example, that the child is at grandma and grandpa every Friday night. Then you know you and your partner that you have the evening to yourself. Give each other time to do things on your own, listen to each other's needs and find out what can be done differently in everyday life, says she.
As exhausted parents can almost get annoyed when everyone else says you have a very nice and happy children. Do you have a child who is an angel gone and a little tyrant at home, so you can actually take it as a compliment. For it means that your child is safe with you. And yes, your child is wonderful all too often, at least when it sleeps. So when the dryer is running out, sit down and watch your child where it lies quietly in her bed. When filled the heart with love for the little life and you drop a few more days. And yet few do so?
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